Assignment 1: Remember to take TIME for YOU

Here it goes. The 1st (and hopefully not the only) assignment that I'm giving myself (and to those who wish to join me)... For this week, this is the focus: Find something rejuvenating that you LIKE to do for YOURSELF. Try to do something every day. I know it might not last long, but just try it.

We hear this all the time, right? As a mom, you need to take time for yourself so that you have more to give back. I've always liked the analogy of the tank of gas in a car. As mothers we constantly are going, going, going, using up so much fuel in the service we give to our families, etc., that sometimes we're running on empty and occasionally run out of gas before we can even get to the gas station to fill up again. If we were able to fill up our tanks more often, we'd always be sure to have enough to last us through all the road trips.

Personally, there is some sort of malfunction in my brain that tells me that doing stuff for myself is only taking away from more time that I can't get other things done. I know it's wrong to think that way, but I've had a terrible time trying to convince myself that I need more fun, more rejuvenating activities, etc. My husband can't believe I even think this way (because it's really easy for him give himself relax time). But it's when I hit those moments of utter exhaustion and frustration that I know I need to prioritize some things a little differently.

And then there's the irony of feeling like I don't know what to do for myself, but it feels that some days I spend all day trying not to play with my kids in order to get all my things done. Perhaps it's what things we're talking about that make that difference.

I'm constantly one who says that I need a break or a 'day off', but I don't really allow anyone to make that happen for me, including myself. Today, however, Brandon gave me a break this afternoon and took the kids to the park. I had to state to him before he left, what I was going to do with that time and hold myself accountable. The first few suggestions didn't fly (organize Gia's room, pick up around the house, etc). Yes, those things would help me feel a little better, but it's probably not what I really needed. At last, I decided to exercise while watching a 'chick show'. I caught an episode of Oprah and Supernanny while I burned a few hundred calories. (Since I'm trying to get back into working out, that helped me feel really good).

Ok, enough about me...I would love to hear if any of you have any thoughts on this or how the "assignment" is going for you. Maybe you're already good at this, but if not, it will be a great opportunity. How has what you've done for yourself given you more energy or a better outlook on the day?

(Oh, and if anyone knows how to get the comments to be shown the main page of my blog, let me know...i can't figure that one out. I think it could benefit everyone to see comments from other people than myself.)

Our Divine Role

I haven't had the chance to post anything for a while, due to the minor financial crisis we were going through with fraudulent activity on our bank account. Overall, the little things we had to do to get everything straightened out and protected again kind of took over everything else in my life for the last couple of weeks. Basically speaking, it was just hard to find any time to read, blog, etc. But life goes on!....

President Gordon B. Hinckley has said, "God planted within women something divine" (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley, 387).

Jane Clayson Johnson follows this up with: "It is that divinity that makes women nurturers, that encourages a woman to pursue motherhood--even when that means sacrificing her own comforts for those of her children...and loving those children with a fierceness and loyalty that is incomparable." (I Am a Mother, 6)

Lastly, this inspirational piece comes from Oprah Winfrey:

"I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. To create an environment that's stimulating and nurturing, to pass on a sense of responsibility to another human being , to raise a child who understands that he or she is created from good and is honorable. To play down mothering as small is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands. "

"The world can only value mothering to the extent that women everywhere stand and declare that it must be so. In our hands we hold the power to transform the perception of motherhood...We should no longer allow a mother to be defined as 'just a mom'. It is on her back that the great nations are built" ("What I Know for Sure," O, The Oprah Magazine, 66; emphasis added).

To me this responsibility of being a mom is almost too overwhelming if I think about it for too long. To think that everything I do and say will somehow be reflected in my children is a little scary, since I feel like I'm still trying to figure things out myself. But I think that's the way God wants us to learn. In the end, whether we're a parent or child, we're all children of God working together, teaching one another, and learning from each other. The role of a mother, in itself, is something that creates so many learning experiences and gives us opportunity to grow. Isn't that just it? We need challenges to give us experience. That experience then leads to knowledge. Knowledge leads to understanding. Understanding leads us to be one with God!

So, though "mother" seems a huge title to take upon ourselves because of the immense responsibility, it is also what gives us power. We are blessed with a role that if filled in the right way, can create countless purposes of good for centuries to come.

Quote of the Day:

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, "When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullibies?  The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods?  Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling that what happened in congresses?"

 ("The Women of God", Ensign, May 1978.)

So, remember to trust in the arm of the Lord rather than the voices of the world..

I Am a MOTHER

Once again I have to suggest a really good read. My husband's grandmother gave me a book a couple of years ago for Mother's Day called, "I Am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. I've ready it once in the past, but felt inspired to pick it up again. You know how things hit you differently during each "season" of your life that you're in? Plus, I probably just forgot everything by now since reading the book the first time. There are SO many great, uplifting quotes in there that I just have to post. Perhaps I'll do a new quote each day so we can all focus on one thing a little better.

Here are a few introductory quotes from Jane Clayson Johnson to head it all up:

"...When quiet is allowed to seep into my heart and leads me to prayer and reflection, I have learned for myself that mothers matter. I matter. And so do you."

"We get caught up in judging one another or taking sides and forget that the work of mothers is God's work--and because it is his work, he will help us and lift us up and make us stronger."

"Motherhood matters. I want every woman to believe this, to feel it in her soul, and embrace it."

"...My path is not your path, and your path is unique to you. We must all make choices based on our own circumstances and desires. Just like our children--who have the uncanny ability to be completely different from one another despite their similar genetic makeup- we are all distinct, matchless in our unique strengths and abilities."

Believing Christ

From one of the talks given at church on Sunday, I was reminded of a book I read a long time ago.  "Believing Christ" by Stephen Robinson.  In a nutshell, it's a great and very clear explanation of how the atonement works.  Online I came across a speech by Robinson, just like his book.  Take a few minutes and read it.  You will have a better perspective on things and you'll realize how much we need the Savior to save us...NOT how much we have to try and be perfect to save ourselves so we can be in His presence.  Anyway, that's a very short summary, but if you're looking for any little 'pick me up' of any kind, definitely read it.  

http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=7054

Living in the Moment: Coloring and Walks

My moments today were:  

Coloring with Gia while we just talked.  She told me how much she loves talking to me.  In that moment I knew that she knew I was there for her.  I still feel as though I often have to force myself to sit down with her after she has asked me several times to play with her, but I want to remember these moments that I do take.  Hopefully these times will increase too.  

During the half hour before Brandon got home, everyone was getting restless around here.  So, I declared that we needed some fresh air.  I bundled everyone up and we went out for a walk as the sun went down.  I gave 2 piggy back rides, found pine cones, and sang "following the leader".  It was a perfectly timed activity and truly a "breath of fresh air".   

For ALL women

I had the thought today that I need to state that this blog isn't just for mothers, but for all women.  I believe that God created women with a natural mothering instinct and therefore, we can all relate on some level.  And even more than that, I think this quest of mine is truly to bring myself closer to the Lord -- and therefore anyone can share in that journey for themselves.  

Before having our kids, it was my life dream to be a mother.  When I found out that it might be way more difficult than I thought and even a possibility that I couldn't become a mother, I was devastated.  In the end, the Lord has blessed us with 2 beautiful children.  Once I became a mother, I felt that I would be one who would always appreciate motherhood, maybe even more than those who didn't experience difficulty getting pregnant.  Deep down, I still feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the blessing I received to become a mother, but as with most things, the day to day challenges we face cause us to forget from time to time how precious a gift our children and more importantly, what a DIVINE role we have as nurturers...even if we don't have our own children.  Women play such an important role on this earth.  We should all know that God has created us as very special women who have much to contribute to this world.  I truly am beginnig to believe that how we view our life is just a reflection of how much we love ourselves and love the Lord (as well as receive the love He offers us).

I have a theory as to why I have felt more of a struggle spiritually/emotionally since having children.  (I feel like by sharing some of these thoughts it is a way for me to be honest with myself and help me to learn and grow through increased understanding.)  For years it seemed as if everything in my life was planned out to some degree.  In a nutshell, I reached the goals that I had set out to do...go to college, wait for my missionary, get married, have children.  All of those things could be measured and calculated.  I had to complete certain things before moving onto the next.  But what after that? I think the fact that this period of "motherhood" can't be measured like all the other milestones in my life has contributed to some uneasiness in me.  Once I reached motherhood, there were no more big milestones to reach in the near future, and with that came that sense of losing myself.  Once the newness and major excitement of early motherhood wore off a bit, I found myself scrambling to figure out what more of a purpose I had.  I'm beginning to realize, however, that this uneasiness is a good thing in helping me to realize the importance of living in the moment, while still making goals for the future.  

I'm sure this is a just a portion of what contributed to feelings I've had.  I would have to think that other contributors would be the huge increase in responsibility for a family and the time mothers spend focused on everyone but themselves most of the time.  But whatever the reason, now is the time for me to restore peace within my spirit and find a balance in all things. 

An article to read...

Remember this talk from Conference from last May?  Well, I remember hearing it, but I forgot how much of an impact it had on me until I came across it again:  It's called "Daughters of God".  I highly recommend reading it.  

Also, even more recent, is the talk by President Monson from which my whole theme was inspired:  "Finding Joy in the Journey".  This is a must read.  

A couple great quotes from this article:

 "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."

From Porfessor Harold Hill in the Music Man, “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays."

Welcome!

Ok, so as this new year approached, I made some personal goals...one of which involved finding more joy in my role as a mother.  I have struggled to find peace in my role as a mother because I feel like I have lost my personal identity sometimes.  I'm sure there are others of you out there  who can relate.  Of course it isn't every day for me that I feel this way, but generally speaking, I often feel like I don' t know who I am anymore.  I don't  know how to relax and have fun, enjoy the simple pleasures of life, especially that of motherhood.  When my time is so limited, I feel like I have to fill it with the most important things, and then when I fail at that all together, I feel guilty and the cycle repeats itself.  These and so many other thoughts have been shared by many women in the life of being a mom.  I thought I would invite others out there to come along and share in my journey to have a change of heart, to embrace the love of the Lord, and to love ourselves more each day...and then in turn have more to give to our families.  

I've started this blog because I have realized that blogging is one thing I enjoy doing.  That's where this is starting for me.  So, my purpose for this blog will be to provide a place that we can share moments, advice, and quotes from church leaders, etc.  that will help all of us mothers remember who we are and how to keep going, while being happy at the same time.  This is the "Plan of Happiness", is it not?